Archive for July, 2007

Live music! Frisbee! Fashion! Water balloons! Comedy! The last few weeks have been full of festivities.

I know it’s a but late, but Happy America Day, Gees! 4th of July has got to be one of the most popular non-religious holidays. BBQin’ hot dogs and burgers, kickin it on the front lawn, fireworks… who doesn’t like all of those things? Besides vegans? Freakin commies. Just playing, meat-haters. I love you too.

The boys and I went over to Kate’s house for a classic 4th of July celebration, featuring the exact activities that I’ve just listed. The boombox blasted Americana, the aerobie sailed effortlessly, the burgers were overcooked, the water balloons were tossed, and the Tequiza was spilled on the sidewalk. You could’ve driven by and taken a picture of all of us and named it “Freedom and/or Liberty in the US of A”. Or something. Like that. After the fireworks downtown, Erik and I celebrated our independence from England with a late night snack… in the heart of the Mexican slums, of course! Back to my old stomping ground, Alameda and Federal. We went to a Mexican taco place in which we were the only white kids. People were looking at us funny… good times. We mean no harm, ese. We just like your food. And good lord are your girls hot.

Speaking of attractive lady-types, yesterday was the Denver Fashion Show! I got to perform for 15 minutes, and then model in 2 runway shows! Being sort-of funny and sort-of pretty has it’s privledges. Like, being in a dressing room with a dozen female models in skimpy outfits. Yup, I now understand why they all say it’s such hard work. I mean, you’ve gotta take off shirts, put shirts back ON, have people make you look killer… how brutal! The standup went ok, considering that I was on a stage performing for a room full of people that were looking at clothes from local designers, and not paying attention. I knew it wouldn’t be a captive audience when I was hired to do the gig, and my expectations were met. I did meet some really cool model girls, a painfully cute designer named McKenzie, got a free Turbo Knife Fight shirt (a badass local girl band with arguably the coolest name ever), and I got hit on by some latino dudes… which was uncomfortable. I hate hate getting hit on by gay guys; I have to gracefully inform them that I’m straight without being all weirded out and offensive to them. They get enough shit day to day for being gay, I’m just trying to break up the monotony of homophobia they constantly face.

I should have pictures from the show soon. Instead of going down the runway all faux-angry like the typical model does, I did handstands and breakdanced and stuff. It was a lot of fun.

In music news, I had the pleasure of going to the Warped Tour again! I found an ad on Craigslist that said “Help us set up the Freak Show Tent in the morning, and you’ll get free tickets and backtage passes!” HELL YES. I grabbed my buddy Jon and we had an awesome time all day. We were allowed everywhere but on the actual stages; backstage, to the busses, whatever we wanted. I of course brought my trusty camera along and got some sick photos. I live about 10 minutes from the venue, so I actually went home in the middle of the day, emptied by memory cards, got a Squishee, and got my gear for my open mic that night. I have since pulled the plug on my open mic show! The management was atrocious and the comics just weren’t showing up. But, it’s a great credit to have on my comedy resume. Anyway, Warped. I saw All Time Low, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, The Starting Line, Yellowcard, and New Found Glory. For free. Backstage. Met most of them. Baller. I am a BALLER.

And finally, I saw The Rocket Summer at Cervantes Masterpiece Ballroom – the same venue that the fashion show was held at. If you haven’t heard of this band (it’s actually just one kid), you’ve gotta give him a listen. Very poppy, but heartfelt; the kid has incredible talent. He plays almost every instrument on all his records; piano, guitar, bass, drums… he’s insane. Really odd voice, you either love it or hate it… I’m a big fan. The show was really small and intimate, he rocked the place, and I got some great pictures. And his insanely hot wife was selling tshirts at the merch booth. I got her personal email address and sent them some of my best pictures… they might use them on the website and MySpace, just like Zebrahead did!

And finally, my good buddy and favorite local comic Andy Orvedahl recorded a CD in Boulder. You may have seen him on the Tempe, Arizona episode of Last Comic Standing. He was the only one out of 300 people in line to advance to the evening show, and was then eliminated… but he got a lot of time on screen! His CD recording was small but very funny. He did really well, and he’s moving to California at the end of the month. He will be missed, but it makes me even more excited to get out to the west coast and do shows with him! He’s absolutely hilarious, a total sweetheart, and a dog lover. Hung out with him til 3am the other night eating frozen pizza at his place, playing with his dog Peach. He’s a great kid. Can’t wait to see where he goes in comedy.

I’m working on redoing the whole g27 gallery into a much slicker interface, so stay tuned. Some killer developments happening here at g27.

First, a quick story.

Monday night, I drive to Castle Rock (home of the dashing Erik Anker) to perform at an open mic called Java Guru. I do a few jokes, and then I see three people in the crowd start whispering to each other. Mom says something to Dad, they both look at me. Mom says something to (very cute) daughter, they both look at me. I stopped in the middle of my next joke, pointed at them and said, “What? I know you’re talking about me. I can read your body language. What’s the secret?”

And Mom says to me, “I just told my daughter not to talk to you after the show.”

Awesome. The sweetheart, sensitive Jewish comedian is officially a bad boy. My leather jacket and white t-shirt are in the mail, and they come pre-ripped! How convenient.

So the show goes well, I leave, stop at home, and go do another show. Rubi Nicholas, the host of the first show, is at the second show. Walks right up to me and tells me that as she was leaving, daughter comes up to her and gives her a piece of paper for me with her phone number on it.

Thank you, thank you. Onto the news.

I’ve advanced to the second round of the ComedyWorks New Faces Contest, which means the world to me. One more round and then I’m in the top 10 amateur comics in the state. I can’t WAIT for round two; let me at ‘em. I’m ready.

I also started hosting my very own open mic show on Sundays at a club downtown called Crave. I’ve had very few comics or audience members come so far, and it may be because the show is so new, and maybe because it started at 9 – until this week – I’m moving it to 7:30. I’d love for the show to get huge, but it’s good enough having a major hosting gig on my resume in my first year of standup.

Went to a brand new open mic on Monday. Oasis Bar & Grill in Aurora, a very blue collar little diner in a strip mall. Me and two other comics showed up. When I arrived, I wished I hadn’t driven 25 minutes. Tiny crappy bar, a small handful of 45 year olds, and no actual stage. But I stayed, and *killed* for 15 minutes. I owned the place. When I was done, the manager asked if he could get me anything, and a lady wanted my autograph, said it would be worth something someday. SO flattering.

I’m doing a 15 minute performance at the Denver Fashion Show on the 22nd – and modeling! How cool is that? I’m gonna tell stupid jokes and then look mediocre in a designer t-shirt!

And one last quick story. Erik and his boys and I went downtown on Tuesday night, hit some bars, some clubs, whatever. Walked up to a club called Rise, bouncer was sitting up on the railing. Says, “Hey guys, we’re closing in like 5 minutes.” So I say, “Aright man, is it gonna be the same story across the street at Bash?”

To which he replies, “Yeah, they close soon too, and there’s a lot of minorities over there.”

“Thanks racist bouncer!”

What did he expect us to do? Put on white hoods and be like “You’re right, brother, people that are different are bad! White power!”

And “minorities” could mean anything. I half expected to go across the street to Bash and have it be full of lefties, vegans, and people with outtie belly buttons.