Archive for March, 2007

I went home last weekend to Chicago to see the family, and as I mentioned in my earlier post, I got a featured standup spot in the city. We drove down to the North Side, ate at an amazing Japanese place called Grande Noodles (yes, I know grande is spanish)… I had roast duck and steamed rice with some teriyaki pork… yum yum yum delicious.
Got to the show at the Pressure Cafe. Pretty small, about 40 people. Whatever, it’s what I expected. I did my set and did really well. I got home and there was an email waiting for me:

“Saw you tonight, you were funny so I decided to track you down. Come back to Chicago soon! – Breanne”

How flattering! My first non-Denver gig, and I’ve got a girl from the audience looking me up so she can contact me. Felt amazing to get that email… I know standup is for me. Thanks, Breanne.

Tuesday night, I finally got off the wait list and secured myself a 2-minute spot at ComedyWorks in downtown Denver. I went, I paced, I conquered. Best crowd I’ve ever played for – it was really an odd and refreshing feeling to have the audience care and pay attention while I’m on stage. I’ve only performed at bars where people are there to drink, and you happen to be telling jokes. I had to cut some of my joke short because I only had 2 minutes and had to keep waiting for the laughter to die down. Amazing feeling. I can’t wait to go back. After ComedyWorks, I went to the Squire with my boys Kyle and Smiff, did some new material, and killed there too. Damn you standup, you’ve got me in your loving clutches and I can’t get away.

The next morning, I was skating to work as I always do, and I was coming up behind a line of people. I went around them and the guy furthest on the right was on a Blackberry. I said “On your right, buddy”, but instead of moving away, he moved TO the right and we crashed. I hit the sidewalk and scraped up my face and knee. Awesome. Fortunately, the wounds aren’t too bad and the scrape is right along my cheekbone, so I kind of look like the action hero near the end of the movie where he’s all beaten up because he just took out 40 terrorists or whatever. Watch out Jack Bauer… I’m gunning for the title of “most badass dude ever”. Somebody get me a silenced pistol.

I want to give a massive shoutout to B, aka Brittni, aka Brit, aka Peytah (for when she answers the phone), for patching me up when I got to the Oxford Hotel front desk. All your years of cleaning your own injuries after smacking into the rocks from an off-balance dive in a gorilla suit at Casa Bonita have paid off. You’re a sweetheart and a top-notch doctor. I got some alcohol cleany wipey pads, some gauze, medical tape, antibiotic ointment, everything a boy needs. All behind the front desk of a 5-star hotel. Also, a thank-you to D for sewing the buttons back on my shirt. Happy last day of work.

Now give Brit 4 stars.

I’ve been dancing with the same girl at this club called Lipgloss for the last few Fridays. A very cute little indie rocker artist girl with a yellow t-shirt and a scarf. The kind of girl that you see at the little record store and you’re too intimidated by her too-cool-for-school-ness to talk to her. She must be dating the rhythm guitarist for “insert local noise rock band here”, right?
So last Monday I went on a date with a friend of a friend. We just kicked at her place, talked music and pirates and dogs and had a good time. Tuesday was Squire standup night; I had a great set (one of the few good ones of the night… I recaptured the attention of the uninterested crowd and got big laughs) and then a girl I’ve become friends with through other comics calls me at 2am to come over and sleep… on my couch. No problem. I’d rather have her sleeping in the other room than driving back home tipsy. Wednesday was Ben Kronberg’s (a very popular local comedian and now good friend of mine) birthday. We went to Casa Bonita (yes, the one you’ve heard about), had a great time, and then headed to a bar I’d never been to; Rockbar.
Sitting in a booth with my comic buddy Jim, who do I spot at the bar? The girl from my Monday night date! Weird! We chat a bit. She’s with a group of friends. Jim and I continue our talk about whatever, and who strolls in? Lipgloss indie girl! What? So Ben and I are having a silly dance-off, and Monday date girl’s cute friend comes up to me and we put on a dance show for everyone in the place the rest of the night.

You know the movies where the guy has 3 dates and they all show up to the same party and he has to manage everything? It felt like that. But everything went great. Dancer girl has a boyfriend, Monday date girl might be crazy, and indie girl and I have been talking a bit. One of the craziest nights I’ve ever had. I came home sweaty, exhausted, excited, and anxious.

Thursday, some of my comic buddies put on a great standup show called Los Comicos Super Hilariosos, which was of course great. I have been accepted into the inner circle of Denver’s best standups. You know, the comic’s comics. After the show, the 8 of us all hung out at the Meadowlark bar, then Jim and I talked comedy at the legendary Denver Diner until 4am. Friday, I had a great headlining standup set at Club 404, then danced with indie girl at Lipgloss. The weekend was equally crazy. I didn’t go to bed before 2:30am from Sunday night to the following week’s Monday.

And finally, a quick story of hilarity and faux-crime:

After talking audio drivers with the manager at Ultimate Electronics for a few minutes, I headed towards the door with my bag containing my receipt and my new Shure e2c earbuds. I got about 10 feet from the exit and the alarm went off, flashing lights and loud sirens, as though I was stealing whatever I had. I turned around to see the manager in the huge center platform containing all the cash registers and employees give me a “Whoops, silly alarm” look. I smiled and immediately BOLTED towards the door. I stopped halfway to the exit and turned around to one very angry security guard 10 employees, and 20 customers doubled over in laughter and applause. Fake theft is funny, kids!