i am the movie

December 16th, 2008

Finally, g27 is running on a reliable server!

I’ve gone through several webhosts in the past, and my last one was Midphase - the hosting was ok, but my site would go down for a few hours at least once a month (that I noticed), and more and more their mail servers were being flagged as spam so I couldn’t even email some of my friends.  Lame.

So hellooooo GoDaddy!  It was tricky but I got my whole Wordpress installation over here, jumpstudio, the g27 photo gallery, my email address, everything.  Sketchy webhosts begone.  Viva GoDaddy.  Viva.

And now, onto the news.

First, and perhaps most importantly, I have a new standup video for you!  I had another killer show at the Comedy Store Belly Room, but the video was no good, but I was immediately invited back to perform on the Main Stage a few weeks later.  Thanks to Geoff, The results are as follows, my complete set, uncut and unedited:

It feels incredible to finally post new material for everyone to see.  All of my friends have been asking for months about when I’m finally gonna post a new one, and it took way longer than I would’ve liked, but I’m glad to finally have it out there regardless.  I’m not completely happy with any one single joke in there, but the set as a whole was good enough to share.

I’ve been hanging with Geoff and Jon a lot more these days.  Sometimes Geoff’s brother Zandy comes out with us, but not as much as he’d like to.  It feels great jonnymartgeoffto be developing some close friends out here on the Left Coast.  In high school I had Ed and Colin, in college I had Alden, Paul, and Jake, after college I had Erik, and now that I’ve settled, I’ve found Geoff and Jon.  I still talk to my non-local friends, but it’s far more difficult to maintain a real relationship with them when they’re 1000+ miles away.  Paul has been romanticing the idea of moving out west for a while, and it’s only a matter of time until Erik gets the hell out of Colorado and joins me in SoCal to destroy some standup stages together.

“What about Dan, Kevin, and Shine?  Your roommates! Aren’t you close with them?  That Christmas card last year was epic!  Here’s a bunch of cash in a duffel bag!”

Ok ok relax.  I have one last piece of news for you.

I get better at my Make It Work job every day.  Going into strangers’ homes and befriending them while solving all of their 1001 computer problems is only getting more and more comfortable the more I do it.  I’m really beginning to develop relationships with my regular clients that go past client-employee.
Desiree at the Make It Work office gets a call from 90210_1024a new client saying they would like someone to come out and redo their wireless network.  It’s in Beverly Hills and they said I can come over, scope out what they need, and then order whatever it is, money isn’t a big issue.  I get to their house, they’re really cool, silly people, and we end up ordering them all new wireless routers, repeaters, and a new iMac.  I come back about a week later to set everything up.  Tom (the man of the house) got his new iMac in the mail, and I set it up.  In the meantime, Leslie (his wife) dropped her laptop and bought a MacBook Air, so I set that up too.  Tom wanted a new laptop too so he bought a MacBook Pro.  I’m there for 11 hours one day, 8 hours the next, and I leave at 11pm on the second day and come back at 8am the third day.

“Peet, you’re here so much you might as well move into the guest house behind the pool!  Ha ha ha”

So. I. Did.

I am now living in my own little house in Beverly Hills, 90210.  My rent is the same as it was in my 4 bedroom Santa Monica townhouse, it’s about the same size, but now I’m down 3 roommates.  I adore Tom and Leslie; they’re both really fun and silly and hip and sharp as hell.  I’m not on call for computer stuff 24/7 like you’d imagine - I think I’ve helped them out 2-3 times in the last month of living here.  She’s a screenwriter and he’s a  writer/producer/director.  I’ll post pictures of my new place as soon as I’ve unpacked all the way and decorated a bit more.

Not bad, huh?

falling with style

August 23rd, 2008

I. Finally. Went. Skydiving.

I’ve wanted to go as long as I can remember, and my friend Haley texted me one day and said “Hey, wanna go skydiving this weekend?”

No planning, no big group, no working out schedules, we just… went. Like two days after Bret Ernst.jpgshe thought of doing it. It was exactly what I expected it to be. No fear, no nervousness, just pure fun. I highly recommend that you do it, if you think you’ll enjoy it. I’m not looking to cause any heart failure here at g27.

In other news, I’ve been performing as much as I can, including a great show at the Irvine Improv, opening for Bret Ernst (you may know him from Vince Vaughn’s Wild West Comedy Tour), and, I completely bombed on the Comedy Store Main Stage:

I was psyched to be invited back to the Comedy Store, it’s a crazy famous venue and I feel lucky to even have the chance to SEE comics perform there, much less BE one. I’d done a few sets there, and they had gone really well, I brought a ton of friends, family, and Make It Work clients to come see me, and everyone loved it. I killed to a room of 350 and held my own when I performed in between the two producers of the show.

This last time I performed, none of my friends were available to come see me; everyone was out of town or had something to go to weeks in advance. I had a whopping two people at the show to see me perform, one of my Make It Work clients and her boyfriend. I hadn’t packed the place, and therefore I got what I deserved (?), the worst spot in the lineup of seventeen comedians… seventeenth.

I was dead last.
In a show of seventeen comics.
This was bad news.

So, sixteen comics have performed, and it’s 10:45pm. The producer of the show, Vargus Tommy DavidsonMason, hurries up to me and says “Dude, Peet, our headliner Tommy Davidson has to be on stage in the Original Room in fifteen minutes. I’m so sorry to bump you, but can he please go before you?”

“Sure, whatever. Yeah, he can.”

We were already two and a half hours into the show, nobody was doing well, and I wanted to be nice to Vargus who has been nice to me. So Tommy Davidson goes, and when he’s done, most of what little crowd remains gets up and starts heading for the door, assuming that they just saw the end of the show.

“And coming up next, Peet Guercio everybody!”

I hit the stage with most of the crowd walking out the door. They wanted to leave an hour ago. I completely bombed, got a few laughs off an improv talking to some rowdy guys in the second row, offended a very cute girl in the front row, and got the hell out of there. But! I didn’t half-ass any of my jokes, I didn’t cut my set short and run off, and I didn’t give up. I did my jokes as though the crowd was semi-interested in the show (which they weren’t) and there were at least 100 people in the audience (which there weren’t). I was proud of myself for not giving up, but it still sucked bigtime. Can’t win ‘em all…

southwestern determination

May 3rd, 2008

I hate not giving the kind of attention I’d like to over here at g27, but I’ve only gotten busier recently. Maybe I should do smaller, more frequent posts. I dunno… I feel like most blogs out there are too little, too often. eriknewsie.jpg

“Today I had chicken at lunch! I’m wearing blue socks OMG!”

Awesome. I don’t care.

The show in Florida with Erik was underwhelming, but hanging with Becky and him for the weekend was awesome. We got paid, we did a nice little show for the kids at Lynn who weren’t cool/douche-y enough to be out getting irresponsibly drunk for St. Patty’s day, we enjoyed the beach (which is not as good as the Santa Monica beach… SoCal represent), and we got two hotel suites with two rooms each. Very baller. During the day, we went through the dorms at Lynn and knocked on doors, handing out free tickets to the show that night. As pointless as that was because everyone was going to be off-campus and sloppy drunk by 4pm, it was still a lot of fun. I love Erik, I can’t vargus.jpgwait til he moves out here and joins the LAPD SWAT team. How many cops do you know that are brilliant standup comics? That’s what I thought. And he’s a ladykiller. Watch out.

Make It Work still consumes a lot more of my life than I’d like it to, but there isn’t much I can do about that. I’m working my ass off, making as much money as there is to be made, keeping all of my customers happy, and being promoted soon.

Speaking of customers, I’ve become good friends with a little lady named Anne… she was one of my Make It Work customers. After fixing her computer/router a few times, we started hanging out and now we’ve got a very cool brother/sister duo thing going on. She’s a lawyer and a general smartiepants and has been introducing me to managers and agents and stuff; coming to my shows, bringing friends, she’s beyond awesome. I’ve taken meetings with Sovereign Talent and ICM thus far. Just talking to people about possibly signing me for standup is an absolutely g27licenseplate.jpgamazing feeling and I definitely didn’t expect anything like that to happen within my first year and a half of standup.

Vargus Mason has been booking me regularly on his Comedy Store Main Room show; one of the most famous and important stages on the planet. I had a huge show there a few weeks ago, my parents were in town for Passover, my sister Anna came up from Irvine, and about 20 of my friends all came to laugh with me. The show couldn’t have gone better, it was an absolute blast. I would do a big standup show every night of my life if I could. As much as I’m still very new to the sport, I’m getting more and more comfortable on stage with each performance I do. I’m keeping a running list of all the big name comics I’ve seen, and it’s getting pretty impressive… the other night I had a long talk with Nick Swardson about comedy and possibly opening for him on his next tour. But that’s a huge maybe.

Oh, and I got new license plates. Spiffy, no?

i’m just warming up

February 14th, 2008

Quality over quantity… I’ve always said that.

My new job at Make It Work has got me busier than I’ve ever been; I’m working nights and Saturdays, trying to work as much as possible so I can make some cash dollars. So far things have been going really well - of the sixty or so consultants in the company, I was ranked number four during my first month of appointments! Pretty kickass - and all the bosses and higher-ups like me. I’ve been to some insanely rich people’s houses, which is always fun. You know when you think “rich people”, you think the driveway at the top of the hill with the gate that opens to the big front door, and then the twirly grand staircase inside, and everything is all gold and frilly and somebody is wiping down the banisters and somebody else is repainting the fence around the olympic sized pool? Been there.
My Mini Cooper has already been to the shop twice (for small dashboard tweaks and fixes), and has made me appreciate it that much more.

Pickup trucks? They suck. I have to drive one for a few days, and I now know what it must be like to be a 300 lb person. Do some situps, Dodge Dakota.

VW Bugs? They also suck. I had no idea - I figured it would be a fun, zippy little car to cruise around in while my Mini was at the doctor’s. Nope. The Bug is a little too big to feel truly small, and it can’t handle its own power - from a stop, if you hit the gas slightly hard, the tires squeal and you look like an idiot. In your yellow Bug. Mine was yellow.

Yeah, yellow. Shut up.

Did you watch the big game? It was really close, I couldn’t believe they pulled out a win at the last second… very impressive. I am of course referring to the Puppy Bowl, the Greatest Sport on Television. The adorableness was simply off the charts this year. What with the frolicking and what not. Go Pups Go!

My parents came in to LA this weekend to visit my sister and I… it was great to see them. I’ve definitely become a lot closer to them in the last few years. I spose it’s because I’ve matured during and after college and can relate to them better now. I don’t automatically hate anything that they like anymore… that’s a step in the right direction, right? When I tell them that the weather here could be a little warmer, they politely remind me that back in Chicago, they have four feet of snow and to quit my complaining. California is crazy - I was driving through the hills in Malibu a few weeks ago thinking “Man, it must be brutal to get up these twisty turns when they’re covered with six inches of snow… ah yes… that doesn’t exist here.” These people have no idea what real weather is.

Dan and I went to the Grammys last Sunday! What a trip… I rented a tux and we got lookin’ all spiffy and rolled into the Staples Center like we owned the place. Pretty damn cool to see so many huge stars in one place. I’ve now seen Tina Turner, John Mayer, Alicia Keys, Beyonce, Daft Punk, Aretha Franklin, Little Richard, Jerry Lee Lewis, and I was even lucky enough to see the magnificent Mr. Kanye West give one of his trademark uber-cocky thank-you speeches and then get dissed by none other than Vince Gill. The afterparty was pretty cool too, and I fell in love with Natasha Beddingfield. What a babe!

A few final announcements.
Erik is going to open for me at the big show at Lynn University! I got the programs board to fly him out to Florida too so we can hang all weekend and then rock the show on Monday, March 17th. Anybody near Boca Raton should come, I promise to be funny!

My favorite skydiving model/dreamgirl Heather has moved to Zambia for the next year to work for a company called FORGE. I donated $50 to their cause and they won a $10,000 grant by one vote (donation) - so she’s sitting pretty because of yours truly. Yup. All me.

I’m going to Oakland this weekend to visit my Explo homey Elli - should come back with some good stories and pictures, so you won’t have to wait another two months for my next post.

After only going for a few weeks, I’m already hosting the open mic at the Hollywood Improv! Holy cwap! Tomorrow is my first time hosting there… I’m pumped.

And finally, I bit the bullet and bought a really nice HD camcorder and shotgun mic. I should have new standup videos soon. Stay tuned.

i spent christmas day skating on the beach

December 26th, 2007

rnrx.jpg

Finally settled into Santa Monica! And it feels so good.
I was offered the job at Make It Work during my interview, and after going home to Chicago for Thanksgiving, I took it. Such a weird job. I drive around in a free Mini Cooper going from house to house (about 3-4 appointments per day), meeting a bunch of new people each day, and working on computers and home theaters and all that fun stuff. As geeky as it is, I love setting up home theater systems. I have no idea why - I like connecting everything and making it all nice.
So, the job has been going really well so far… I’m fixing problems, installing huge TVs and new computers, making lots of friends, and I’ve already gotten two cute female relative offers. “Oh Peet, do you have a girlfriend? You would love our granddaughter!” and so forth. The really weird thing about the job is that there’s no office to go into - I mean, we have an office in Santa Barbara (a two hour train ride west along the coast), but I’ve only been there once and I don’t know when I’d be back. I wake up, and all of my appointments are in my Crunchberry, and I go to my appointments. I don’t know when I’ll ever meet the other employees! It’s a totally solo job and I kind of like that, i don’t have to rely on anyone but myself.

And, meeting crazy people is already starting to provide me with stories to tell on stage. “I don’t care if the computer guy is here, you said Brian was gonna live here for 3 days, it’s been 2 months, I want you back! I hate you! Go have another drink!”

True story.

I’m actually typing this on my company-issued MacBook in a Starbucks using the company-issued wireless account, and I got here in my company-issued Mini. And my first appointment today is setting up a lady’sdeskbed.jpg super sweet new universal remote about 4 blocks away from my house.

Speaking of my house, my roommates have left me all alone in our four bedroom townhouse until this Sunday! Silly gentiles, all going home for Santa’s birthday. How ridiculous! Having the whole place to myself has really removed a lot of distractions(granted, they were fun distractions and I’d much rather be hanging with my roommates than cleaning my room) and I’ve finally had time to organize my space, unpack the last few boxes, and check a bunch of things off my to-do list. Last night I had run out of tasks so I thought I’d just go to bed, but then my friend Sarah (aka Crazyface) called me to come over and play board games. That quickly turned into playing with her Webkinz (god that’s the dumbest thing ever) and deceiving creepy dudes in an adult chatroom. Kids, if you haven’t done the “pretend to be someone else and say ridiculous stuff to weirdos in a chatroom” thing in a while, allow me to give it my full recommendation. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.

Comedy is coming along - January will be a step forward for sure. I auditioned and made it into a major comedy contest at the Ice House in Pasadena, I’ve booked a gig at No-Name Comics @ Room 5 (which is bed.jpglike a best of the underground, if you haven’t heard of these comedians, you should have), and I’m getting booked for the All-Headliner show at the HaHa Cafe in North Hollywood. I’m most excited about the contest… I can’t wait to show this place what I’m made of.
I’ve also got a semi major booking in the works - I’m lining up a headlining show at Lynn University in Boca Raton, FL for March. They’re flying me out and putting me in a hotel and paying me and everything! Crazy. I’m trying to get them to book Erik as well - we would put on a killer show together. With our combined handsomeness, the ladies won’t stand a chance! We should do a college tour called “The Sweet Boys That You Can Bring Home To Momma of Comedy”.

Catchy, right?

alive on arrival

November 12th, 2007

My first post from the left coast.

I’m slowly setting in to my new digs here in Santa Monica; I’m beyond sick of unpacking and organizing all my stuff. Fortunately, I’ve thrown away several full boxes of junk and 2 garbage bags of clothes are headed for one of the several Goodwill clothing donation places on Santa Monica Blvd. Did I mention I live about 20 feet from Santa Monica Blvd? Yeah, I do. And about 5 minutes to the beach. It’s been between 60-70 degrees since I got here, so we haven’t hit the sand just yet, but it’s already warming up and our coastical activites are sure to pick up very soon.

The drive out here was great. My comedic partner in crime, the handsome and talented Mr. Erik Anker, was nice enough to join me on the 16 hour drive. He worked all day on Thursday (he’s a Captain in the Air Force, the ladies love it), and I was lucky enough to spend a good chunk of Thursday night with the one and only Heather. Champps restaurant, in which we had a lovely discussion about our recent run-ins with stalkers, we fought over waffle fries, and the amount of glare in our faces due to the silly architect that just had to build the place facing the wrong direction. I couldn’t have asked for a better Last Supper in Colorado.

So off we went, driving straight through the night, the only ones on the road. Not surprisingly, the drive from Denver to LA is a lot more interesting than Chicago to Denver. And it isn’t just because Erik and I talked the whole time (and we did; we barely listened to any music, and only a few This American Life episodes). Let’s compare.

Illinois -> Iowa -> Nebraska -> (Eastern) Colorado
Flat, boring -> Farms -> Farms -> Mostly farms and then the Rockies to the west

(Western) Colorado -> Utah -> Arizona -> Nevada -> California
Beautiful mountains -> More mountains -> Tumbleweeds and cacti (we were only in Arizona for a little while, and come on, that wildlife is funny) -> VEGAS, BABY -> More mountains

Colorado to California, you win by a landslide. Erik was pretty sleepy after working all day, so we ended up sleeping in the car at a rest stop for about an hour at 5:30 in the morning, but other than that, we plowed straight through the whole time and only stopped to eat and get gas. On this trip I discovered something… IHOP isn’t as good as Denny’s. I had no idea. All this time I’ve been walking around thinking they were one and the same. How wrong I was… Denny’s, I’m sorry, I won’t take you for granted ever again. You suck, IHOP.

The house is still a complete mess, and won’t be all pretty and finished for a while. So sit tight for pictures, they’re on the way.

I had four job interviews in my first week here! One is IT Assistant at Summit Entertainment, a production house, one is SysAdmin at a place that makes a touchscreen computer for Alzheimer’s patients to keep their minds sharp, one is IT Manager for the USC School of Fine Arts (they just emailed me saying I didn’t get the job, I had a feeling I was way too young for it), and one is at a company called Make It Work - they’re like Geek Squad to the Rich and Famous. I’d be driving around SoCal in a Mini Cooper, going to appointments and fixing people’s computers, TVs, networks, easy stuff like that. Pretty cool! It would be nice to be driving around all day, because I have awful direction and I need as much practice as I can get. I’m waiting for an offer from two of the places, but I’m leaning towards Make It Work. Sounds like it would stay interesting… and it could provide me with a lot of funny stories.

Last night was my first standup performance here on the coast… a little bar near my house called 14Below. Not a big crowd, but I did really well and it felt great to be back on stage. It had been almost two weeks since I’d performed last! I was missing it so much, I couldn’t wait to get on stage. I did what I could with the small crowd (including my three roommates, who loved it), and was definitely the favorite of the night. The opportunities for standup here are endless, and that’s why I made the big move out here.

I’m still totally settling in, jobless, in a mess of a house, so not much has actually *happened* since I moved out here. I doubt you want to read an entire post about how I’m hanging up my shirts and trying to find a place to put my old dresser. Once I get into the swing of things out here, I’ll have some new stories to tell.

multimedia representation of ha-ha

September 27th, 2007

I write to you as a brand new man!

On Monday, I was named top ten comedians in the state of Colorado. I made it to the final round of the ComedyWorks New Faces Contest, the final ten… less than one year after my first time on stage as a comic. I’m really proud and impressed with myself; this is proof that standup is something I’m rockymountainnewsdefinitely cut out for. I didn’t win the contest, but I’m very satisfied with such a huge accomplishment in such a short amount of time.
More standup news. A few weeks ago, the Squire Open Mic was featured in the Rocky Mountain Newspaper! A guy came down one night and interviewed a few of us, took some pictures, and enjoyed the show. The article gets a full page and BAM! Who is that handsome gent in the bottom third? I bet he’s hilarious AND smells good.

How cool is that? The layout makes it look as though the laughs in the top image are coming from my jokes, which I’m quite sure they are not… for you see, I am not the least bit funny. I stand on stage and shout obscenities and racial slurs until someone tells me that my time is up. True story.
And in intertube-based comedy news, I uploaded a video to Funny Or Die and it has over 35,000 views in its first week! It’s three minutes of a set I did at Wit’s End in Westminster a few weeks ago, shot by an apparently caffeine-fueled Jordan Zuckerman on the low-end digicam of Leif Cedar. The video has gotten over 90% positive votes on Funny Or Die, and the content director of the site emailed me and said that they love my video and if I have any other content to please email her directly so that she can feature it on the site. What an honor! I’ve embedded the video in this post. While it isn’t full of my aforementioned offensive slurs (I took a break from that this time), it isn’t for kiddies.

And now onto other news. California is still on the horizon, closing in quickly. Tentative plans are to move out there around November 1st, but that may be pushed back a few months depending on whether or not Comedy Central decides to pick up a pilot. If they do, and Jimmy Kimmel offers Dan a good enough job on the pilot, then Dan will be off to New York for a few months. In that case, I may stay in Denver, and I may move out there into a house with Kevin while Dan is living with his parents in New Jersey and paying rent with us in sunny Californ-i-a to keep his spot in the house. It’s all up in the air. I’m doing my best not to think about it because I can’t make any moves until I know what’s going on.

I’ve nearly finished construction on a whole new wing to the g27 kingdom! I’m sick of my old photo gallery system, so I’ve installed a new one that is sweeter than a marshmallow Peep holding a bouquet of Forget-Me-Nots. Please check out the new one, let me know what you think. Thanks!

Finally, a short story of inspiration, deceit, desperation, and guard dogs. Friday night, I parked across the street from Club 404 in the lot of the KFC as I always do, but why was this night different from all other nights? If you got the Passover reference, you get bonus points. Anyway, I was next up to perform, and somebody told me that my car was getting towed. It was! I ran across the street to talk to the tow guys, but they wouldn’t speak to me. I took down the phone number of the place and got a ride downtown to visit a friend. After we danced at a club, she gave me a ride home and the next morning Paul took me to go pick up my car. $250 cash for parking for 20 minutes in a lot of a KFC that was closed.
But here’s the moral of the story. Never once while my car was being towed did I get upset or mad. You know why? Because shit like that happens to all of us, and I was due. I could’ve really needed my car that night, I didn’t. I could really need $250 badly, I don’t. It’s a lot of money but it could’ve been a lot more. It sucks but I’m not gonna starve.

The moral is, don’t sweat the small stuff… and 97% of life is the small stuff.

in and out

August 30th, 2007

First of all, I’d like to apologize to all the loyal Gees who have been waiting so long for a post. I’ve been far busier than normal recently, as is shown by my ridiculous laundry pile. But I’ve got clean boxers and that’s all that really matters, am I right or am I right? Onto the news.

dinodan.jpgMy hetero life-mate Dan came to Colorado for a weekend! Yes, the same Dan that I’ve known since the day I was born on a beautiful Earth Day (and Easter Sunday), the same Dan with whom I have set up lemonade stands on highways three separate times (and been accosted by state police all three times), pranked countless people with the most cliche trick ever, sold snowballs at a yard sale that didn’t exist, the list goes on.

Dan’s buddy Yaeger was getting married in Breckenridge on Friday, so he arrived on Wednesday night and I took Thursday off work. Did Dan have nice clothes for the wedding? Of course not, this is Dan we’re talking about. We went to three thrift stores where I got a sick green striped tie and an insanely gangster Russian-mafia fake-fur-lined jacket for a total of seven dollars. Dan found a very snappy gray suit that got him several compliments at the wedding ceremony. 26 dollars to look that sharp? Nice work, my main man.

Saturday, Dan drove back from Breckenridge (I let him borrow my car, what a guy I am) and we went to the Cherry Cricket for lunch. My favorite burger and fries to date… I’m hoping to find a place to beat it (Kroll’s in Chicago with Colin, Dave and Alex has moved into the top 3) when I move to LA. Saturday night, I was doing a show opening for Adrian Mesa in Castle Rock, and I got Dan on as one of the openers! He had never been on stage before, but I told the host that he was a seasoned vet. I was confident that he wouldn’t let me down, and he absolutely did not. He wasn’t even the first opener - another comic opened for Dan. His first time ever! It was great, he was very funny, just like I knew he would be.

So what could make the weekend better? Buying a puppy, of course! Now don’t get too excited, I didn’t buy a puppy… Dan and I katieflynn.jpgwent out with his Denver friend Katie to several puppy rescue/shelter/ranch type places, and we found her an incredibly cute and playful black blacklab.jpglab/golden retriever mix. Katie named her Abbey, and after the three of us (Katie, the still-unnamed pup, and I) took Dan to the airport, I went back to Katie’s place with her and schooled her all about having a dog; how and went to feed it, when and how to introduce toys, potty training, how to discipline, everything. It was great! What a sweet little pup she is. Abbey, not Katie… Katie’s a dork. Just like Ashley Murray of Atlanta, Georgia.

Last weekend, I had the pleasure of flying home to Chicago to see my family. It had been several months since I had seen them, and we like to be together at least 3-4 times a year. We all saw Ratatouille which I can’t give a high enough rating. It is not a stupid silly kid movie. Go see it. Brilliant filmmaking.

I also got to hang out with my tallest and most angry friend (I have friends who are taller but are not as angry), Colin. We stayed up until 4:30 in the morning having an epic conversation about wild animals, innovations in video games, dreamy girls, lots of things. Epic guy talk… loved every minute. And he even saved my orange cream soda in the fridge from last time I was at his place! What a guy! I also purposely creeped out a girl in the elevator of his building. Hilarious.

I’m slowly working on completely revamping the photo gallery section of g27… it’s going to be waaay cooler. Cooler than a chilled penguin. For realsies. Sit tight.

music to my eyes or “4th down and warped”

July 23rd, 2007

Live music! Frisbee! Fashion! Water balloons! Comedy! The last few weeks have been full of festivities.

jakefrisbee.jpgI know it’s a but late, but Happy America Day, Gees! 4th of July has got to be one of the most popular non-religious holidays. BBQin’ hot dogs and burgers, kickin it on the front lawn, fireworks… who doesn’t like all of those things? Besides vegans? Freakin commies. Just playing, meat-haters. I love you too.

waterballoon.jpgThe boys and I went over to Kate’s house for a classic 4th of July celebration, featuring the exact activities that I’ve just listed. The boombox blasted Americana, the aerobie sailed effortlessly, the burgers were overcooked, the water balloons were tossed, and the Tequiza was spilled on the sidewalk. You could’ve driven by and taken a picture of all of us and named it “Freedom and/or Liberty in the US of A”. Or something. Like that. After the fireworks downtown, Erik and I celebrated our independence from England with a late night snack… in the heart of the Mexican slums, of course! Back to my old stomping ground, Alameda and Federal. We went to a Mexican taco place in which we were the only white kids. People were looking at us funny… good times. We mean no harm, ese. We just like your food. And good lord are your girls hot.

Speaking of attractive lady-types, yesterday was the Denver Fashion Show! screamsinger.jpgI got to perform for 15 minutes, and then model in 2 runway shows! Being sort-of funny and sort-of pretty has it’s privledges. Like, being in a dressing room with a dozen female models in skimpy outfits. Yup, I now understand why they all say it’s such hard work. I mean, you’ve gotta take off shirts, put shirts back ON, have people make you look killer… how brutal! The standup went ok, considering that I was on a stage performing for a room full of people that were looking at clothes from local designers, and not paying attention. I knew it wouldn’t be a captive audience when I was hired to do the gig, and my expectations were met. I did meet some really cool model girls, a painfully cute designer named McKenzie, got a free Turbo Knife Fight shirt (a badass local girl band with arguably the coolest name ever), and I got hit on by some latino dudes… which was uncomfortable. I hate hate getting hit on by gay guys; I have to gracefully inform them that I’m straight without being all weirded out and offensive to them. They get enough shit day to day for being gay, I’m just trying to break up the monotony of homophobia they constantly face.

I should have pictures from the show soon. Instead of going down the runway all faux-angry like the typical model does, I did handstands and breakdanced and stuff. It was a lot of fun.

In music news, I had the pleasure of going to the Warped Tour again! I found an ad on Craigslist that said “Help us set up the Freak Show Tent in the ryanyellowcardwarped.jpgmorning, and you’ll get free tickets and backtage passes!” HELL YES. I grabbed my buddy Jon and we had an awesome time all day. We were allowed everywhere but on the actual stages; backstage, to the busses, whatever we wanted. I of course brought my trusty camera along and got some sick photos. I live about 10 minutes from the venue, so I actually went home in the middle of the day, emptied by memory cards, got a Squishee, and got my gear for my open mic that night. I have since pulled the plug on my open mic show! brycepoint.jpgThe management was atrocious and the comics just weren’t showing up. But, it’s a great credit to have on my comedy resume. Anyway, Warped. I saw All Time Low, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, The Starting Line, Yellowcard, and New Found Glory. For free. Backstage. Met most of them. Baller. I am a BALLER.

And finally, I saw The Rocket Summer at Cervantes Masterpiece Ballroom - the same venue that the fashion show was held at. If you haven’t heard of this band (it’s actually just one kid), you’ve gotta give him a listen. Very poppy, but heartfelt; the kid has incredible talent. He plays almost every instrument on all his records; piano, guitar, bass, drums… he’s insane. Really odd voice, you either love it or hate it… I’m a big fan. The show was really small and intimate, he rocked the place, and I got some great pictures. And his insanely hot wife was selling tshirts at the merch booth. I got her personal email address and sent them some of my best pictures… they might use them on the website and MySpace, just like Zebrahead did!

And finally, my good buddy and favorite local comic Andy Orvedahl recorded a CD in Boulder. You may have seen him on the Tempe, Arizona episode andywhatsthedeal.jpgof Last Comic Standing. He was the only one out of 300 people in line to advance to the evening show, and was then eliminated… but he got a lot of time on screen! His CD recording was small but very funny. He did really well, and he’s moving to California at the end of the month. He will be missed, but it makes me even more excited to get out to the west coast and do shows with him! He’s absolutely hilarious, a total sweetheart, and a dog lover. Hung out with him til 3am the other night eating frozen pizza at his place, playing with his dog Peach. He’s a great kid. Can’t wait to see where he goes in comedy.

I’m working on redoing the whole g27 gallery into a much slicker interface, so stay tuned. Some killer developments happening here at g27.

the hardest working man in show business

July 5th, 2007

First, a quick story.

napkinnumber.jpgMonday night, I drive to Castle Rock (home of the dashing Erik Anker) to perform at an open mic called Java Guru. I do a few jokes, and then I see three people in the crowd start whispering to each other. Mom says something to Dad, they both look at me. Mom says something to (very cute) daughter, they both look at me. I stopped in the middle of my next joke, pointed at them and said, “What? I know you’re talking about me. I can read your body language. What’s the secret?”

And Mom says to me, “I just told my daughter not to talk to you after the show.”

Awesome. The sweetheart, sensitive Jewish comedian is officially a bad boy. My leather jacket and white t-shirt are in the mail, and they come pre-ripped! How convenient.

So the show goes well, I leave, stop at home, and go do another show. Rubi Nicholas, the host of the first show, is at the second show. Walks right up to me and tells me that as she was leaving, daughter comes up to her and gives her a piece of paper for me with her phone number on it.

Thank you, thank you. Onto the news.

I’ve advanced to the second round of the ComedyWorks New Faces Contest, which means the world to me. One more round and then I’m in the top 10 amateur comics in the state. I can’t WAIT for round two; let me at ‘em. I’m ready.

I also started hosting my very own open mic show on Sundays at a club downtown called Crave. I’ve had very few comics or audience members come so far, and it may be because the show is so new, and maybe because it started at 9 - until this week - I’m moving it to 7:30. I’d love for the show to get huge, but it’s good enough having a major hosting gig on my resume in my first year of standup.

Went to a brand new open mic on Monday. Oasis Bar & Grill in Aurora, a very blue collar little diner in a strip mall. Me and two other comics showed up. When I arrived, I wished I hadn’t driven 25 minutes. Tiny crappy bar, a small handful of 45 year olds, and no actual stage. But I stayed, and *killed* for 15 minutes. I owned the place. When I was done, the manager asked if he could get me anything, and a lady wanted my autograph, said it would be worth something someday. SO flattering.

I’m doing a 15 minute performance at the Denver Fashion Show on the 22nd - and modeling! How cool is that? I’m gonna tell stupid jokes and then look mediocre in a designer t-shirt!

And one last quick story. Erik and his boys and I went downtown on Tuesday night, hit some bars, some clubs, whatever. Walked up to a club called Rise, bouncer was sitting up on the railing. Says, “Hey guys, we’re closing in like 5 minutes.” So I say, “Aright man, is it gonna be the same story across the street at Bash?”

To which he replies, “Yeah, they close soon too, and there’s a lot of minorities over there.”

“Thanks racist bouncer!”

What did he expect us to do? Put on white hoods and be like “You’re right, brother, people that are different are bad! White power!”

And “minorities” could mean anything. I half expected to go across the street to Bash and have it be full of lefties, vegans, and people with outtie belly buttons.

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